To everything there is a season. The time of major change and transition is occurring. I spent the past week in renovation. The exterior of the building is going through an update and over the Labour Day weekend I was behind a plywood bedroom window and only a plastic and tarp in the living room to buffer me from the outside noise. This put me in my usual observant mood. I teach and I know that everything in our life is reflected in our internal world. This is what I found out about myself. Our home represents our minds. What’s my story in this transition? I know that I keep people at bay. My professional relationships when tangled into my personal life become heart breaking and I try to maintain a separation, which at times is challenging. I create a wall behind which I keep my shy-self; this is ironic because I am a public speaker.
Behind the tarp and plywood, I couldn’t see the sun nor the rain that threw itself at Vancouver in bucket loads mingled with lightening that I knew would be there because of the thunder that crashed and roared through my imagination. When I took a break from the project I was working on to go outside, I felt as if I was on another planet. Everything had a powerful air of change! I felt as if I had been away for some time and the outside world had changed in my absence.
Part of my life purpose is to feel what it is like to be human by experiencing as varied experiences as I can. This renovation helped me to understand how people in solitary confinement feel. Oddly enough the movie, The Green Mile was on the television, which made me feel the isolation more keenly. At this time on the planet, we are here to experience everything in the human journey. Isolation, betrayal, hurt, pain, love and joy, this time we are to report what we know because we have awakened. We know what is right and what is wrong. We are no longer hidden behind ignorance. We understand when our words hurt others and we are aware that the kernel of light that exists within us has the power to heal through our conscious knowing and sharing.
I found answers to the questions that arose. Am I capable of living in isolation and working alone, as I believed? These questions come to me in the muggy, smelly (food smells) dark space I occupied. This time of solitude was both productive and instructive. I know that self-imposed solitude is much easier to be in than that which is imposed by others. So much for my control-freaky self. For me, I continue to remain open for the answers to the questions that I asked within my core, whether I liked the answers or not.
What are your questions?
Are you staying open for the answers?
The robe of realization is an incredible garment to wear. It opens the doors in our lives, without us trying too hard.
Congratulations to you who have remained open and are now enjoying the fruits of your perseverance. Your ship is coming in!