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The Redemptive Quality of Forgiveness In The Holidays

Happy Holidays! In whichever form you choose to experience it. As we come to the end of two thousand and fifteen, part of the human race is showing a reversal of tolerance. The news media chooses to follow individuals exercising their right to speak their minds, to express their self-loathing spewed across the planet and out in to the universe.

We are in the chrysalis stage of the human evolution. As the caterpillar we absorbed the teachings of people like Wayne Dwyer, Marianne Williamson and the Dali Lama to name a few. These teachers helped us to recognize ourselves as divine beings in a physical, human experience. Now we have to turn what we know into wisdom. We absorbed the powerful teachings; reading books, attending workshops and lectures, meditation and our own unveiling wisdom to this end and beyond.

The end of year holidays force us to look within to see if we are as tolerant and loving as we envisage ourselves to be. Do you love someone regardless of how they treat you? Can you forgive yourself for being stupid, small, weak, or gullible? Are you able to see that in the weakness you are being given the opportunity to grow and develop into the powerful being of light that you are seeking to embrace?

Are we able to give kindness and love to the ones we feel have wronged us? Are we able to love and forgive the dark in others? Several movies come to mind, Dead Man Walking with Susan Sarandon and Sean Penn and The Green Mile with Tom Hanks and Micheal Clarke Duncan, to name a couple. These movies show the redemptive quality that love and forgiveness can bring. How does compassion and empathy fit in our desire to evolve and grow into beings of light? The ranter who spews words of hatred and derision is turning himself inside out showing us his or her own self-loathing. The person who causes harm to another began her journey to this state, in a tiny way mostly trying to show that he or she is kind and loving. This turns out badly because each must know his light first before the light can be seen by others.

Christmas carols are about kindness and love. They are about tolerance and magnanimity. The christmas tree is the sign of hope with the light shining at the top. When I was a child living with my grandparents, my grandmother woke me up one night to look at a star travelling across the sky. The star was incredible bright, with the long tail stretched behind it. It may have been a comet, but for some reason, my grandmother knew that it was there. Behind the wooden bedroom window, she would have had to have been forewarned of it’s coming, to be able to get up at that exact time, open the window to show it to me. It appeared like the star I read about in books, the star the wise men followed to the new born Jesus.

My grandmother was an angry woman, my grandfather was filled with malice. My sisters and I were sent to live with those two at such an early age that I may have chosen a different course in life but for the magical events I experienced that made me see that there was more to the existence that what my sisters and I were experiencing. This time of the year to me, is like the star that fell across the sky that night. It is a reminder that even though we may not see kindness or loving actions in those around us, loving kindness does exist. We are being asked to find it within ourselves and exercise our right to be loving. To show tolerance to even those we feel do not deserve it.

For those of us whose purpose it is to heal the planet, our job is not to preach to the converted. It is to go into the dark, scary places and shine our starlight so that those in the dark may find their way to the light.

May the light of understanding that sits within you, illuminate the hearts of the world in its darkest places.

Painting by Sonia Nadina Haynes


Where Are You On The Karmic Wheel?

I began writing this blog before the latest event on the Paris. I am sure the tender-hearted wonder why these events occur and more importantly, how a person can take his and her personal story and impose it on others. I watched a documentary about the experiences of Romany gypsies in World War Two at the hands of the nazis. One gentleman in particular drew my attention. He was castrated by one of the nazi officers. This occurred without anesthetics. He was only ten years old. In the interview, he said when he lifted his head as far as he could to see what the doctor was doing, he saw that the doctor had orgasmed from the young boy’s pain.

Most people who hurt others experience a thrill at their victim’s pain. It seems to be an integral part of the human psyche. The thrill comes from the reaction of the spectators. In the Roman sports arena, spectators influenced the first outcome of the fight. They decided whether the gladiator died or not. In a strange sort of way, we are still in the times of the Romans.

The internet is now the platform for self-aggrandizement, where we get to experience the thrill of watching other’s pain without having to put our lives on the line by taking part. If the leaders who send solders out to fight, sacrifice their lives along with the rest, there would be fewer suicide bombers and war would be at curtailed.

Maybe it would put an end to the sacrifices made.

Let’s talk about karma. Most people are afraid of the perceived retribution that karma brings. Once upon a time the gods fought each other. They tore each other to pieces and they died thinking that that would be the end of their journeys. But we woke up and realized that we are still fighting each other. We are still tearing each other limb from limb. We did not escape the wheel of karma and we will not escape so easily. We will wake up in the next existence, having to feel the things we tried to escape in the previous life when we killed ourselves at the time of our violent acts.

When we kill someone, we reincarnate in the next life inescapably feeling what it is like to have someone precious taken from us in a violent way. We will experience the feelings of loss of limbs and the pain of recovery. That is karma. Karma is feeling the pain we inflict upon each other. It is also enjoying the good we do to another. Did we assist someone in this life to be safe, to find peace, to be happy? Then we experience the same in the other life. Were we both jealous of one person but helped another? We will experience both in the next life. In other words, we will not escape so easily, the residue of our karmic deeds of this life. Dying does not expunge us from our acts of violence or kindness.

The gods must learn how to be at peace with ourselves in order for the race of man to move into the next stage that brings us closer to returning to the stars.

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People Respect You, Speaking Your Truth

Fearlessness through understanding ones-self is important to spiritual advancement. We all strive to be heard, to be understood and yet at the same time many of us try to say what we want to say, in a ‘nice’ way so as not to hurt the other person’s feelings. It is impossible to speak our truth and not cause a stir in others. In the Law of Attraction, or “like attracts like,” whatever we think we create.

We live in the time of magic. Science is showing us how that magic works. It shows that when we are clear and focused on what we want, without distraction, we harness the power to create. In order to do this we must know our selves. When we are clear of our direction, meaning we know what we are striving to achieve, we will go fearlessly into a long happy marriage, or a successful business enterprise. Self-knowledge creates a quiet confidence that transcends fear and worry.

Emotional Healing through Intuitive Guidance will assist your journey out of the darkness of pain and confusion into the light of understanding. I remember in the days when I was a bridal designer, I had a photographer friend who brought the photos he took for my advice. The first time he brought a photo, I saw a flaw in the picture and told him so. He left in a huff. He brought the photo redone, again I saw a flaw and told him so. When he brought the photo a third time. By now, I felt quite anxious.

I asked him why he kept asking for my advice when he got mad at my critiques. His response was, “I know that I can trust you to always tell me the truth”, I paraphrase. This taught me that people will respect and listen to you when you face your fears of making others angry and are consistently truthful from your inner being.

Sonia Nadina Haynes is able to see into your past, present and future. Emotional Healer and Intuitive, she assists you to find the sweetness in life and to live your truth, fearlessly. Sonia Nadina has met and worked with clients from many walks of life, financial backgrounds and states of spiritual development. She is the catalyst for change.

Couple Holding Hands on a Railroad Track

What Does The Changes On The Planet Mean For You?

Is the planet dying and we are just waiting for that moment when the inevitable occurs? There is evidence that the life that we have known is really shifting. And these changes are being reflected on the planetary landscape. Recently, the biggest hurricane in the pacific ocean ever recorded, went over land and left very little damage or fatalities. It seems to me that there are multiple events occurring in different dimensions at the same time, that are overlapping and spilling into our world. Or maybe our behaviour is spilling over into the other dimensions.

Either way, there is a breach in time and space that is being broadened by our emotional states. The lack of care and disrespect we carry for ourselves is evident around us in violent acts against one another, for no reason. Put against innocent people.

Will we have to take drastic measures to save ourselves?

If so what will they be?

I teach about love of self and healing through love. In order to save the human race, it is necessary for us to find the way to love ourselves so that we can help the planet with a “pure mind and clean heart” mentality. Our minds will become pure when we release the fear that we are not good enough.

Magic is happening, it is necessary to clear our hearts so that we can include an acceptance of the magic within the universe into our own belief system. Painful wars occur when we do not believe or accept that we are each unique and special. Shaming of others occurs when we continue to blame and berate ourselves for our existence. We transfer our pain on to the person whom we identify as representing our weakness.

The time has come for this race called humans to let go of crazy illogical thoughts and embrace the idea of personal responsibility. We need to decide that we are now ready to accept our share of the abundance that is a part of the planet’s positive prosperity story. Do you deserve to have the best life ever? Are you willing to change your mind, let go of fear of having it all, in order to have it all?

Check your inner self and see. You are capable of having some the fifty percent of the world’s wealth that is held by the one percent, flow back into your and your loved one’s hands. All you have to do is Change Your Mind.

Sonia Nadina Haynes loves to support you in your healing. She is the author of several books available on Amazon and her website. As well as writing and healing, Sonia is a workshop facilitator and spiritual teacher. She works through the chakras, intuitive healing and shamanic studies to support your mental, physical and spiritual growth.


What Do We Leave, When We Run Away?

I’ve spent my whole life leaving. I’ve left people, places, things and even myself until nineteen-ninety two when I was diagnosed with a devastating disease that pulled me up short, causing me to stop and look back on the road I had traveled to that point.

Roads are always important to me. Roads take us from point A to point B. Roads are shaped by the feet of travellers walking leaving one place to another, beating down the grass under foot and shaping the stones to perfectly flat cobblestones for feet to navigate comfortably. You can tell the travellers on a road by looking at the ruts and wear. The purpose of roads shaped by humans using machines including the human machine is to make faster the journey from one place to another.

A memory I have, was of my birth. I saw myself running. I chose to leave the life I had only just been born into. I do not remember my mother’s discomfort at my birth, nor do I remember my own. But at my shining into the physical world, I felt her sorrow. I chose to leave. I had a disorder of the intestines that at one day old and two days old, I could not ingest the nourishment she fed me. The milk of life for my nurturing I rejected, my intestines strangled itself. Septic and dying the doctors decided to experiment. Surgery, the option to correct the disorder. I saw myself on the operating table. A rust coloured tape over my tiny belly. The doctors dug into the right side of my belly looking for the offending piece of intestine. They did not find it so they hacked down until they found it two inched lower. Above and below my belly button and to the right, I was butchered. Ignorantly, they did not think babies were capable of feeling. Or they thought the memory of the offence would be forgotten. What they were not aware of at the time was that the story, the offence was stamped upon the psyche of the child.

But I digress, I was telling you about the memory of my birth. I had an aunt whom I had never met, because she’d died two weeks before I emerged into the cold light of life. I am told that she bequeathed a pair of gold bangles to me which I have never seen. I’m not sure which side of the family she belongs, but in the vision of my birth, I saw myself as spirit running as fast as I could. My body on the operating table, my spirit, taking off. My aunt appeared to me.
“Where are you going little one?” she asked
“I don’t want to do it.” I replied.
“Why not? They need you.”
“But it is too hard,” I said. “I change my mind.”
“You cannot change your mind,” she said. “They need you. You have to go back. And besides, you can leave any time you want.”
I looked at her in total trust. Knowing at that moment I could escape at any time, I surrendered the panic to her and I returned to my ravaged body.

My parents moved quite regularly during my formative years. Then I was taken to live with my grandparents and found I could not physically leave, so I ran in my nightmares and my dreams.

Most of us spend our lives running from situations we find challenging. We may not use our legs, we will run in our minds, in our dreams through sleep walking, emotionally through depression or even physically through health disorders that depilate us.

When we run, we are leaving our own life. We leave our selves. We do this because we don’t feel that we can give our selves permission to live life on our terms. Think about it. If you want to live the life that suits you and you choose not to express your own truth, you are leaving your inner child behind. When you want to have a life that reflects all the positivity you need, then you can leave behind the old way of thinking that restricts your joy.

Take a chance on yourself and leave the comfortable, uncomfortable life behind for something nurturing. It is very worth it.


Navigating The Emotional Slipstream To Ascension

The super moon came by, eclipsed and full at harvest time. Did you feel affected by its energy? Many have written and talked about how these events have affected them. In the articles, the authors wrote about feeling low in energy, physical pain with a gloomy, foggy state of mind. I must admit that I did not experience the negative emotions that many have been sharing about. While waiting for the zap of negativity, I took stock of all that have gone on in my life over the many years I have been in this work. One of the authors shared frustration that with all the work she has done over the years, her healing is still incomplete. I understand her frustration. This is what I hear from the well-accomplished clients who finally end up at my door.

It is bruising to the ego to have worked so hard, only to find out that you are still on a treadmill going nowhere. There seems to be certain expectations for this ascension that people have been talking about for so many years. Ascension is not about feeling that you have made it. When you reach that place, it will not matter to you whether you have ascended or not. Nothing will matter. Not that you have forced this state of being, but you will be freed of your combat with ego and nothing will matter. You will become detached from outcomes.

You will not need to chase rainbows but you will appreciate them. You will not need the world to see or appreciate your accomplishments which are many. You will be in your life, in the world, but the world will not impact your emotional state. Many will call you cold, they will berate your lack of interest in their drama, but you will not feel the need to defend yourself or your motivation. Your primary interest will be to support the emotional and spiritual growth of others. Isn’t that nice?

I have spent most of my working years, supporting and helping others grow out of the limitation and trauma of childhood PTSD. I am coining the residue from childhood trauma, Childhood PTSD. Many of you prefer to think that you are not affected by your formative years, but everyone was and is affected. We were all shaped by the experiences we encountered during and after our birth. This emotional trauma that creates disease of the body – MS, cancer, hypertension, mind – ADHD, depression, OCD, and spirit is unhappy energy turned inward from emotional and mental distress and spiritual confusion. We are searching for the way back home to that tranquil place but are unable to get there because of the busyness in our mind.

There was a place in our childhood where we stopped developing emotionally. When I see a person, I see the child within them at the age they are stuck at. For example the six year old boy whose parents divorced and separated him from his sister. These pivotal time in each of our lives is where we were so shattered by the world that we stopped searching for the light. In that place we decided that the world was not very nice and our gods were not as powerful as we thought they were. This experience follows us to adulthood and our inner child continually brings up the obvious in an attempt to spark us into taking on the role of becoming our own gods. We are running so fast from the pain that we forget that we are running from ourselves. Like Sidhartha, who became the enlightened one, we need to stop and see that the thing we have been searching for was right here all along.

Many seek the ascension slipstream in which to get out of the struggles of the world, but we will not escape if we carry the fear and limitation we are holding to. Let me put it another way. A bee flies around collecting nectar to make honey in its hive. It eats some of that honey and gets honey on its wing, it cannot fly to get more nectar until it cleans the honey off its wing. The honey the bee creates, its food, becomes a detriment. The bee becomes weighted down by the very thing that nourishes its life.

It is important to heal the childhood pain, I mean emotionally heal this pain so that we can more effectively help others. The bee with honey on its wing cannot fly out and show others how to collect nectar until it has freed itself from the honey trap.

I speak clearly. I tell it like it is. This is hard to take for ones who have not figured out how to speak or walk their truth. It is hard to change the world when you struggle with the emotional story that debilitates you. I am not saying that I don’t have struggles. But I use these struggles to really understand my inner child and to hear what she is trying to say. Because I am listening to my own inner story, I am opened to the stories and emotional struggles of others. I feel keenly. I feel your physical and emotional pain. This is how I know when you are walking your talk and communicating kindly with yourself.

Healer blog

Wellness- Journey Towards or Away From Healing

What to write about, not that there isn’t something to share, it is just that there is so much happening in our lives and on the planet at the moment. I had a conversation with my friend Kristin Perrin and the conversation reminded me of a poem by Dylan Thomas. Kristin asked me to share a bit of the conversation we had about wellness, healing and disease.

So, I am inspired to make this blog about wellness and the journey towards or away from healing. When we seek to be well or to be healed from a disorder of the body, mind or spirit, it does not mean that we are broken, but we expect our doctors, metaphysical and physical to fix us. We go to these individuals with the idea that we are broken, but are we really?

As you may know and I teach, illness does not just occur in the physical body. We never just get up one morning to illness. It takes a long time for disease to download into the body. An affliction begins in our mind and our energy before finally lodging into the body. And this does not just occur in adulthood either. For the adult, the disease originated in our formative years. The moment when we felt anger at not being seen or heard. Or not allowed to express ourselves, because we would be given something to cry about. Cancer starts as a result of the time we felt helpless to stop an adult or older child from misusing their power over us. Multiple Sclerosis is a result of the bitterness from childhood anger turned inwards. It is not their fault we say, it is mine. If I had not sneezed at dinner I wouldn’t have made them mad and they wouldn’t have had to hurt me.

Clearing the pain from our past opens the door for us to live disease-free. Of course we will have to be alert and aware to the story we tell ourselves in order to fully heal. This brings me to Dylan Thomas’ poem, Do not go softly into that good night. The poem touches on the antidote for disease. It is necessary to rage disease away. To allow the inner child to scream the pain that you kept inside, swallowed and digested. She must regurgitate her cancer and vomit up her pain in order to heal effectively.

How about it? Are you ready to leave the baggage of your past behind and walk into your future light, healthy and free? I would like to help you get there. – contact@soniahaynes.com

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Love, Affairs and Sexual Attraction

As I write this blog, I am hearing the words Frankie Lymon and The Teenagers sang “Why Do Fools Fall In Love?” Love seems such an elusive thing that when we are in the end of a passionate affair, we ask ourselves why. We call ourselves fools for opening ourselves to the passion that overwhelm us in that crazy moment. It is interesting to note that we do not stand a chance if we think we are able to resist mother nature’s magnetic pull when our time comes around. I remember falling in love so hard that I was unable to see that the guy was not my type until after the passion had cooled and I was able to extricate myself from the bonds of passion. At the time, I was not interested in being in a relationship. I was not asking if love would find me. I was just not interested, at all. Then Bam! Right between the eyes or the heart. Wow! Cursing myself as I fell! The bitter sweet torment. I wanted it and I was abhorred by it. I fought like a fish on the hook to get away while I was expressing my devotion. It took several months for the passion to cool and I was happy. The emotional quiet was delicious.

While I was caught in the web of nature’s force, I asked the question, why do we fall in love? What I learned was that the man with whom my heart was entangled was a seven times husband in the past. The last time we married, it was the height of art in the high renaissance. He left me with seven children to pursue his passion. I envisioned him in his course linen clothing and cloth cap with his satchel over his shoulder walking away from us. When he left, my children and I fell on hardship. Most of our children died and for me I needed to reconnect and complete the story. This life time I have been cleaning up karma, but that is a story for my memoirs.

What I am getting at is that our hearts know who is in our lives to clear mindset and karma. It knows who is our true love, who will be with us for ever. Love, affairs and sexual attraction are all based on past life stories, unless you are a new soul and I don’t think there are too many on the planet. Patience is an important aspect of love attraction. Keeping your head is also wise. It is easier to fall into the passion of the moment and create new karma requiring resolution, than it is to use constraint and find out why you are locked in the maelstrom of emotion. In a future blog I will address the reason why we end up in challenging relationships. I can help you sort out your relationships so that you can make the one you are with, work for you; if you choose to stay. Or help you prepare emotionally for the love of your life.

Emotional Healer, Sonia Nadina helps you resolve your story so you can have the best life ever. contact@soniahaynes.com.

Watch Timep

Are you in sync with time?

It is the middle of July and I can hear most of you exclaim that the year is moving along so swiftly that we are now at the halfway mark and where did the year go? Are you one who feels that time is pushing you at breakneck speed towards an uncertain future? Have you wondered why time seems to be passing so quickly?

Our progress through time is like driving a long highway where we zone out to find that we have missed a large section of the landscape as we try to figure out where we’ve reached. I just did a three and a half days drive from the 1000 Islands region of Ontario to Vancouver in British Columbia. The last time I did this drive it was twelve years ago and I did it in less than three days. Not to brag though because I stayed near or on the speed limit during the drive. On such a long journey alone, I end up as one does thinking about a lot of things. Topics that occupied my mind, were time, our journey around the sun and the future of the human race.

Time, a man made device, or as Albert Einstein said, an invention of man, is our ruler. We have spent more time following time that we forgot how to be at one with ourselves, in time. The drive to Vancouver for me created the capacity to unplug. Of course when I arrived I realized that I had taken less time than I expected by just going with the flow…(of time). There is always more than enough time to do what we want. What we do not have, is time to spend (I love the idea of spending time like money) on regret over things we believe we have missed out on or have not done.

Unplugging is called living in the moment. This occurs when we decide to focus on the one thing requiring our concentration. We can get scattered and follow many leads but being and living in the moment will allow us to live a healthier emotional life without the stress and strain that comes from attempting to control time. I came along easily meeting very little traffic on the TransCanada Highway. That was until I decided to take Highway 99 through the Massey Tunnel in Surrey and sat in traffic for one hour waiting, becoming a part of five lanes of traffic braiding their way into one lane through the tunnel.

At the time, I calculated that I would get to my friends’ home after or before rush hour. My ankles were swollen from hanging out with the accelerator too long and I was ready for the break from driving. I began to focus on getting out of the car. The universe showed me that focussing on time caused a bottleneck through space that made me aware of how we block ourselves in our daily lives when we try to control or beat time.

An aside: I interrupted writing this blog and went downstairs, answering the call of Cali the calico cat. She wanted to be petted. Our pets are here to help us unplug from the expectations we create upon ourselves from time. Go pet your cat, take your dog for a walk, remember to pick up after him or her and watch time stand still.

What are your moments in time where you found yourself profoundly affected by the passage of time? Did you feel that you were hanging on for dear life as time sped up dragging you along? Or did you find yourself in a zen state along the way?


Is It Possible To Forgive?

Can you forgive even when the person who wronged you did so in the most horrendous way? We seem to be living in a world of retribution. Of righting wrongs by incarcerating or killing wrong-doers. The news is rife with stories of such things. The news reporters talk about putting politician’s feet to the fire to get them to fess up.

It seems that on a whole, mankind is seeking someone to blame for its pain and the present state of the planet. Funny the word mankind, man-kind. Kindness of man? Can we be kind to one we consider to be evil? What about children who are taught to hate from the adults in their lives. Do we find these people unforgivable?

My grandmother was shocked the day I arrived home from school weeping. She did not understand why I was so bereft at from her perspective, the justice brought upon a boy who nearly killed me, as she saw it. In school, I was small for my age, from the city, and smarter than the other kids. My first day of school, I was accosted by Laverna Campbell. The country bumpkin kids, thought that I must be tough coming from the city. Funnily enough I was six years old. They wanted to teach me a lesson. She bumped into me several times until I lost my temper and for the first time in my life got into a fight on the front lawn of my new school on the first day of school. My sisters and I were left to be reared by our grandparents as was the way in Jamaica. I was unhappy about being left behind and as the eldest was angry that at the age of five and a half I was having to also care for my younger siblings.

There was one boy in Mizpah Moravian School who, taller than almost everyone, and light-complected took it upon himself to torment the younger and smaller kids in the school. He walked with a cockiness that caused the little kids to cower when he appeared. I did not cower. Tiny and angry, I faced him one day when he targeted one of the first graders. I would not stand for it and stood between the child and him. The teachers intervened and things seemed to get better until recess time later in the afternoon when he swung the huge iron gate at the entrance of the school, glancing my head and sent me flying out into the street, knocking me cold. I guess an uproar ensued. I must have been unconscious for a while because I was told later that my grandmother, frightened that I might have been killed, showed up at school and gave the boy a piece of her mind. We were not ushered to hospitals in those days we were left until nature took its course. I survived but later the same day, the boy attacked another child whose brothers, three were there to defend their younger sibling. They beat the boy to an inch of his life. Each time he tried to stand he would fall over. I was distraught at the sight of him. I cried at the pitiful image he made as the victim.

I had always heard the statement that in order to understand a person it is necessary to walk a mile in his shoes. When I was small I took the statement literally. That day I understood what it meant. I heard in my head the words. “The bad man believes in the moment that his actions are right, but he is the most piteous sight when he is made to answer for what he has done.” I have empathy for everyone, even when I am angry at them. These day I don’t get angry at too many people, because I understand the root of their actions. Is it possible to forgive an individual knowing that he or she was taught to hurt others because they were relentlessly hurt themselves? We do have a choice, yet some of us never learned about those choices.

Forgiveness can bring us to a state of grace.