Category Archives: Emotions & Feelings

Dealing With The Contradictions Of Life

Life is contrary. We see lots of positivities around us, but then the good is oftentimes defused by random negative acts of people in turmoil. It is easy for us to turn on one another in hate because this is instinctively what a wounded, frightened creature does. We are told many times that love is the only way to heal and defuse pain. But how do we reconcile the love idea when we so deeply feel the fearful events occurring in our world. Lives are being forfeited in attacks of violence all over the world. Will we move into WWIII? Whole countries are being wiped out by environmental influences. It seems as if we are being pushed towards a seeming inevitability. It is like having our feet on the brakes but someone in a vehicle bigger than ours is pushing us towards the precipice and there seems to be nothing we can do about it, because we are locked in our car of fate, our feet locked on the brake.

While all the negativity is going on in the world, we also see its contrast. We see the beauty of a service member rush to put out a fire, save a child, support a senior. We see them, wrapped in the shield of power use their power to make the lives of their fellow humans better. And then we see them use the shield of power to expose their own anger and rage against anyone they perceive to be powerless and weak. Or represent the face or body type of one whom they were taught to fear thus hate.

Most of us choose jobs based on childhood experiences. We choose to protect, save, and feed; we become advocates for the weak and needy, because in our childhood, we were abused, misunderstood, shunned, and unheard. In our adult years we try to shift the wrong that was done to us, by trying to help others. The problem is that if we have not resolved the past pain, we will do to others, what was done to us in the past. It takes a strong individual to look in the face of his past, shift and transmute the pain to help others heal, without transferring his pain and anger onto them. Even to the surrendering of their life, a person lives their childhood story and without thought for self, instinctively face down the harbingers of malevolent behaviour. In this act of selflessness, our heroes faced the demons within themselves which opened them up to their highest good. This is not to say that we need to go out there and sacrifice our lives or challenge the horrors of the world.

What I mean is that if we can realize that the world is made up of people, it may force the human members of such organizations to empathize and put themselves in the shoes of their victims and their families. I still expect and beyond hope for peace on our planet. That is the only way we will heal global warming, injustice, and cruelty. When we are no longer making ourselves wrong, we can stop making others wrong, and then we will see the beauty emitted from ourselves reflected through the eyes of each and every person we meet.

Reflection in the mirror Blog

The Dangers of Comparing Yourself With Others

 

The beauty of all existence
Rests within you
Heaven peers through your two eyes

Compare yourself to another
Watch how quickly the light dies

Thus heaven shows
The healer knows
Unconditional love has no opposites
That is true balance
– Anonymus
It seems that the majority of us constantly view ourselves through the eyes and actions of others. The only creatures, flora or fauna that compare itself with others are humans. We look at the beauty in a flower and wish we could be as beautiful. We look at our predecessors and try to be make ourselves better than they were. This behaviour negatively affects our lives.

What does it do to our psyche when we look to others as the template upon which we fashion ourselves? As children we look to our parents to provide the blueprint for our self-esteem. Comparing ourselves to others cause depression which can lead to negative lifestyles such as drug and alcohol abuse, mental illness and homelessness. When we carry low self-esteem born from comparing ourselves to others, we lose our equilibrium and this affects all aspects of or lives. Ironically, the person we put up on the pedestal may be feeling the same as we do. Most people spend their lives living up to unrealistic goals.

How you avoid the pitfalls of low self esteem? First, positive self-talk is as important as any information from a guru or emotional guide. Self-talk, means the conversation you have with yourself. Low self-esteem comes from negative self-talk.
You are unique. There is no one like you. Even if you try to make the outside of you resemble your heroes what you are inside, emotionally, spiritually and mentally are completely different. Your life story is unique to you. Even with siblings your emotional growth will be different based on where you are in the birth lineup. Your experience with friends will be different because your friends are also unique.

Take the time to formulate positive self-talk. Counter the negative self talk with “and”. For example, I am such a ditz. Improve that self talk with Yes and I am focused in other ways. So, “I am such a ditz. Yes, and I am make the best cupcakes I have ever tasted, and my friends tell me so.”
You are not fighting against or disagreeing with the negative self talk you are agreeing that that is what you think at that moment, and you are also showing your consciousness another more positive point of view.

Have An Adventure And Shift Your Life

There is an old movie called Shirley Valentine, many of you may know it, where a housewife in England made the same meal for her family every week. They had chips and egg on Wednesday and steak and chips on Thursday. Mushy peas, with bangers and mash on Mondays and so on, till she felt as if her life was going around in circles like a one-eyed fish. She, after consulting the wall, took it upon herself to change her life. Her family took her for granted and she was feeling invisible. Most people on the planet have lived lives in stasis. Most have never travelled beyond the boundary of their town or village. We eat the same foods and our familiar circle are people with whom we are comfortable. Humans are a nomadic race of beings. This is how we grew and evolved over thousands of years. Ironically, our static lives may have contributed to the overpopulation we see on the planet today. This has left us impatient with ourselves and others we have what I call nervous leg syndrome. Many of us feel squeezed in our lives and are not sure how to shift the energy that will move us forward. o-happy-facebook

You don’t have to move to Greece like Shirley Valentine, buy a red convertible like older men who have been following the rules all their lives and decide to bust out of their uncomfortable cocoons. Shifting your life can be as subtle as moving the crystal that sits on your alter to taking your first vacation in your life. What you can do to shift your life is to try doing something differently. If you cook rice one way, following the instruction on the box, try a new rice cooking recipe. If it does not come out the way you want or expect, make soup to of it. Or move the furniture in your home. From a Feng Shui perspective movement in your home will shift the energy. Open you front door and back door and allow the stagnant energy to run through. Change the colours you wear during the winter. Add a yellow scarf. These things will go a long way to move your life from the state of stagnation into flow.

Try something new, anything. If you are one to over indulge in the holiday season on the delicious sweets and alcohol, instead of berating yourself for what you do, get some B-Complex vitamins and take more during this holiday time. The vitamins will remove the free radicals in your system and maybe even help you to lose your taste for so much of what you crave. Take the vitamins close to when you drink or eat before or after your indulgences.

Going on an adventure does not have to be crazy. If you want to shift your life even just a little, try taking a different path home. You never know it may open the door to new or more love, like Shirley Valentine if that is what you want. Her courageous decision to run away to Greece caused her husband to reflect and take a risk himself. He shifted. You don’t have to do something as drastic as Shirley Valentine because it is a movie, but something ventured will certainly change your life. Enjoy!

Take A Walk In Another Person’s Shoes

Life is contrary. We see a lot of positivity around us, but then the good is is oftentimes defused by random negative acts by people in turmoil. It is easy to turn on each other in hate, but we are told many times that love is the only way to heal and defuse pain. We see the beauty of a service member rush to put out a fire, save a child, support a senior. We see them, wrapped in the shield of power use their power to make the lives of their fellow humans better. We also see them use the shield of power to expose their anger and rage against anyone they perceive to be like them, or represent the face or body type of someone who caused them harm. We see individuals clothed in mental illness share their pain with others through violence.

Most of us choose jobs based on childhood experiences. We protect, save, and feed; we become advocates because in our childhood, we were abused, misunderstood, shunned, and unheard. We in our adult years try to shift the wrong done to us. As adults, if we have not resolved the past pain, we will do to others, what was done to us in the past. It takes a strong individual to look at his past and shift it to help others to heal, without transferring his pain and anger onto others.

Many of our heroes have been transitioning into spirit. They were the ones who courageously faced down the harbingers of malevolent behaviours and triumphed. You know what they did? Our heroes faced the demons within themselves which opened them up to their highest good. This is not to say that we need to go out there and challenge the system.

What I mean is that if we can realize that the system is made up of people, it may force the human members of such organizations to empathize and put themselves in the shoes of the victims and their families.

I still expect and beyond hope for peace on our earth. That is the only way we will heal global warming, injustice, and cruelty. When we are no longer making others wrong, we can see the beauty emitting from ourselves reflected through the eyes of each and every person we meet.

Blog image words hurt

Political Correctness makes Negative Behaviour

Have you ever tried to cut your own hair or trim a hedge in your garden? You have in your mind the exact shape and length you want the cut to be. You trim one side and then attack the opposite side to balance off the cut. When you look at your hair in the mirror, it seems unbalanced to you. Of course, we are our own critic. In an attempt to create the perfect cut, we see the slight imbalance in our haircut and attempt to fix it. We cut the other side trying to even out the cut and create a total mess. Soon we have cut our hair so short that we have to go to an expert to get it styled in a way that we did not want. The idea for this blog came through a conversation where several people shared their stories about ‘the hair cut’. One lady shared how her mom tried to cut her bangs and left a jagged mess before giving up trying to even out the mistake she had made.

We live in a world that exists in polar opposites. We have the North Pole and the South Pole. We have east and west and each is different, with its own climate, land mass and animals. This contrast makes our world an interesting and varied place. Only one part of the earth can be exposed to the light of the sun. The other, opposite side will always be in darkness, unless there are two suns shining at opposite sides of the world at the same time, and even then some part of the earth will be in partial darkness. This is the same for all of us. Even when we are in a room surrounded by light on all sides, the mass that we are, dark matter, will split the light and cause it to flow around us, thus defining and marking our existence.

For humans to understand the phenomenon called emotion, we need to experience the opposites – sadness, dependent on happiness to understand balance. In order for us to feel the righteousness of forgiveness, we need to experience a wrong and so on. The world and our own psyche are in a state of constant flux trying to create balance, like the pendulum that swings too far to the left and in its momentum back to balance, it swings too far to the right. This continues until the momentum is used up and the pendulum reaches a still point. In the world around us it seems that the political correctness that we embraced for the last couple of decades has swung back and the rudeness that we have kept under wraps is now uncovering itself. The political arena is a prime example. In the past, we fell into political correctness excising the words we innocently used to describe people and events in our environment. We avoided using statements and words to describe an event, a person or an activity that we’ve come to consider as hurtful. This quietened us for a while. But now the negativity is coming at us with a vengeance. We did not understood the emotional effects our words had on others and as we continue in ignorance, we are now feeling the pain that words can inflict.

For the person who spews toxic liquor in words, it is necessary to understood the  effects his behaviour and words have on the people around him. The antidote of issuing hurtful words and action is to realize that we are projecting our pain on to others because we are unable to hold it within. We cause hurt to the perceived weaker amongst us before they can inflict the pain to us. Only a hurt individual will willfully say things that cause hurt to others. Only a wounded individual will be hurt by the words spoken by another.

To become highly evolved beings, to achieve ascension, we need to be aware of our inner angst. In so doing, we will know what will make us react negatively and we can make corrections, creating balance.

Cooking header webblog

Spirituality, Consciousness and Weight Management

The focus on weight and body image is a global obsession. Once upon a time women would have been the ones focussed on body appearance, now men have climbed aboard the fitness train. Food, supplements and exercise include the obsession towards good health. The world of celebrity keeps those interested in emulating others focussed on the attempt to maintain good health. Good health and diet are not exclusive. The world of perceived healthy foods is affecting the planet in adverse ways. Of course while many are starving in some countries, foods being wasted in parts of our developed world.

Many of us find it challenging to get to a weight and size that is recommenced by the medical professionals in our particular country. Our governments put a blanket rule on weight which we try to live up to, but heritage plays a large role in our physicality. I find that certain foods create inflammation in my system. Like turkey and salmon. These foods are supposed to be best for me. Salmon for me is a health food. Whenever I feel a cold coming on, I have a craving for salmon soup. This is a First Nations soup. A piece of salmon filet, skinned and cubed. One large potato, cubed and one large onion cubed. Add this to a saucepan with about six cups of water. Bring to the boil then turn the stove down to medium low. Cook until potatoes are tender. This soup does not require salt, fat or other seasoning. This soup is healing and anti-inflammatory. I must admit that I haven’t had this soup much. Maybe once a year, because colds are rarely a part of my life.

Eating correctly is important to optimum health. This means being aware of the types of food that your body likes. I eat what I like, but I also follow my body’s signals. My diet is very simple and I rarely eat out. When eating out, I avoid salads because restaurants use a plastic bottle to mix the dressings and I can smell the bacteria in the dressing. If I get a salad, I ask for the dressing on the side, that way I can make sure the dressing is free of bacteria. I do eat meat, my grandparents would not have survived had they not eaten meats. I don’t like fish very much. Once I loved fish until I started to be turned off from the fish at the fish shop. Humans are now clearing out the ocean of its fish. To me this means that the food from the ocean may not be so healthy.

Conscious living and conscious eating the right path to better health, which means that we heighten our senses to become aware. In food preparation, the ingredients speak to us. I have met many people who say they dislike cooking, but if you approach food and its preparation the same way you approach meditation, yoga or prayer, you would have a better experience in cooking. Food is such an important part of our health and wellbeing that to say you do not like to prepare the food that will keep you healthy is doing your body and your spirit a disservice.

Shopping for ingredients is really wonderful. Your body will tell you what it wants from one day to another. If you like chilli, your body will tell you the ingredients it wants to make the chilli.

My children learn to cook in by using their intuition. Even when we look at a cookbook, our inner self tells us if the ingredients will work for us that day or not. Of course there are techniques required for special recipes, but when you understand the technique, you don’t have to be perfect at it, just let your intuition and imagination take you to a healthy nourished body. Your weight will even settle to perfection because you are feeling contentment.

Reflection in the mirror Blog

Look At Your Reflection In The Hall Of Mirrors And Find Balance

“You are the centre of your universe. Everything and everyone you encounter is a reflection of your unconscious belief system.” – Sonia Nadina Haynes

It has been said that the world is our mirror. The world as it presents itself to us, cannot be your mirror because you are kind and loving and a being of light.  How does this work with the mirror? When you were born, you knew yourself to be whole, perfect and divine.

Through challenging experiences, where you felt unheard and invalidated, you forgot this information and left the beautiful part of yourself behind. There is a brave little girl and boy, who is creative and fearless, who knows that he and she matters. He will assist your transformation if you stop long enough to hear what she has to say. Many people and especially powerful healers are hard put to connect with that innocent aspect of themselves. Because it requires diving into a pain that is so cutting, it seems impossible that it will end. Not going into the pain however, cause you to feel stuck.

You are left yearning to make a shift in your life and yet no matter how hard you try, the shift is unattainable. It is like in the commercial of the Coppertone child on the beach with the little black dog hanging on to her bikini bottom, our inner innocence holds us in place until we fearlessly allow it to emerge.

We are now in the time of the White Hall of Mirrors in Mayan prophesy. This is a time of reflection, when we face ourselves, becoming the watched and the watcher in our own lives. It is a time where we come in contact with our own inner truth hopefully without judgement. There is no good or bad in this state. It is we who think in such terms, and as we do so the world is reflecting this back to us. We are tossing thoughts out into the ether willy-nilly. I don’t like my hair. How am I going to make it through today? Why don’t I have any friends? Why am I still attracting this type of relationship? How am I going to pay the rent? These questions fill the spaces around us. Because they are questions, they require answers. Our world is constantly attempting to balance itself through presenting answers.

We cannot have the answers because we resist and forgot to look into the mirror. When we look at the reflection within our core we have the power to change the story around us. Pay close attention to the mirror. Be aware that if you do not like yourself, you will bump into people who will reflect this back at you. If you do not believe that what you have to say is important or valuable, you will meet individuals who will leave you feeling that you have no voice. These frustrating unconscious stories will show up in your body as diseases because your inner unconscious self wants you to find the truth, your truth. It needs you to know that you are important. It needs you to release the early childhood imprinting so that you can ascend into your divinity.

Sonia Nadina Haynes is a catalyst for change in the lives of all whom she meets. She is an Emotional Healing Therapist, Spiritual Teacher and Healer. She sees your past, present and future. She tells you what has brought you to this place in your life. What you need to do to resolve the present moment and what you need to do to positively impact your future.
Contact Sonia and heal your life today. contact@soniahaynes.com – 778-786-1301

Addictive Fear Blog header

The Addictive Thrill Of Fear, How to break away

I used to love roller coasters. My family and I lived in Brooklyn, New York. Every Sunday, we would go to Coney Island. My favourite thing to do was to ride the roller coasters. The thing that attracted me to the roller coasters was the excitement of terror as I careened down the steep, rickety, seemingly dangerous tracks. The cars would be full of excited individuals old and young, sitting in anticipation of the imagined danger that we were in from the violently shaky machine that threatened to fall apart and throw us to our death.

One day as the cars rattled along the track, I became aware of the energy that was running through the group as it anticipating the imagined danger to come. We had created an illusion upon which to ride. As the cars got to the top of the ride, I thought, “Why am I screaming?” “I wonder what would happen if I did not scream?” I disconnected from the network of fear. I experienced the roller coaster as an observer and found that the only thing that made the event exciting was the mass hysteria that I had allowed myself to be locked into. That day at seventeen years old I disconnected from the fear matrix and never saw the world the same again. The times that I get caught in the hysteria, I feel, are when I am supporting the people around who require me to be small, weak and insignificant. I can see clearly the role that I play in the human matrix.

We each of us have chosen a side in this battle towards self-realization. Some of us use religion as the source of our comfort and security, while others use spirituality. We are grossly divided in our opinions of what should be done to ‘fix’ the world. We view each other as evil or not “in the light”. We judge each other’s spiritual progress while convincing ourselves that we are not judgmental. We tell others that they are devoid of light, which is why they are ill or in emotional distress. It is easy for us to look out at others and see what is wrong in the other person, as opposed to tangibly looking within and see the false truths that we feed ourselves about our lives.

Our self-denial is being used by fear to segregate us. We are being dragged in a wave of destruction toward the cliff of our own demise by our self-denial. What do you fear more than anything? This is a question that must be answered if mankind is to separate itself from the path of annihilation. When you are told that you are too confrontational and in people’s faces with your message. You should ask, “What makes my message so confrontational?” What makes this information and these questions so frightening? Is it that we are afraid of being removed from the cocoon of denial?

The illusion exists. Human history shows the extent of the illusion; A country is given permission to invade another in the name of planetary security to destroy weapons of mass destruction. The invasion occurred and the weapons of mass destruction were not found or used. If these weapons were found, what would the invading country do? Would they turn them upon the planet because it knows that humanity will follow it to the ends of the earth? The world economy faltered and is still struggling to recover. Then came SARS and other health scares. Are these events truth or another illusion?

When will we focus within and see that this is all designed to separate us from our truth? As we are being distracted from our personal power, by fearful world events we cannot spend our time moving toward our light.
We become distracted. We are distracted. How do we get off the rollercoaster of hysteria?
The only way is to move into the fetal position of our own inner search. Try not to make being “Spiritual” a status symbol the way, in the past we made being “religious” a status symbol.

Humility is a clear and fresh experience. Humility requires nothing to cause it to be. It is. We humans use each other’s pain and distress as the template from which we judge our own self-realization. We need someone less than ourselves in order for us to feel important. We need to have others less evolved than ourselves or in pain in order for us to feel important. This is the thing that fear uses to keep control over us. The social media shows powerful evidence of such. Shaming others from the anonymity of a computer screen. Look within and see, how many of us need to see our spouses and families in weaker states than ourselves in order to feel important?

We are not here to help anyone to become enlightened, we are here to see if we can consciously disconnect ourselves from the matrix of fear and see the illusion, as it is, an illusion.

Let’s give it a try, shall we?

Sonia Nadina helps you get through the layers of false information you have amassed upon your psyche over your life. She uses her ability to see to assist you to heal using the energy of your guides and the spirit and souls of your loved ones. During your session, your loved one will show up and share information that is relevant to you and supportive of your journey.

5 Ways Affirmations

5 Ways To Use Positive Affirmations To Enhance Your Life

Affirmations, self-talk, we use these every moment of the day and we use affirmations to motivate our progress through life. We say, “I am popular” and the universe says, “Yes you are”. The universe gives the same answer regardless of the self-talk we have with ourselves. The universe does not hear the negative so when we say, I don’t want debt, it replies, yes you want debt. There is a lot of information telling us how to manipulate the energy around us to get what we want. Ironically, energy although we can use it to work for us, is impossible to manipulate. Energy is our servant. It follows the workings of our unconscious and conscious mind. Whatever we want whether we are aware of it or not, goes out as a request to the universe and a response is returned in answer to our request. Most times, when we get what we think we’ve asked for, it shows up in a form we did not want. But our affirmations especially the unconscious, speaks louder than we are aware of.

Many of us see affirmations as operating only in the positive. But we affirm our lives always. Five ways that you can turn affirmations into a positive force for your lives will help you to find clarity.

One

Always be aware that you are in constant communication with the universe. Whatever you think is being interpreted every moment. A thought that is unsupportive to your needs, will show up as a failed experience.

Two 

Be aware that your childhood experiences do influence your mindset regardless of what you think you want. Go back to your childhood and look at the experiences you encountered. Then look at your life. If the two match, you are truly using your negative story to live your life now. For example if your parents struggled for money, you will usually, as the adult see money as a challenge to achieve. Coming from a wealthy family does not make you immune to limiting mindset about money. Coming from a wealthy family may make you feel shame about being “lucky”. The same as coming from a struggling family may leave you with a limited self-worth.

Three

Whenever you catch yourself with a negative or unsupportive thought, counter it with a positive thought. Agree with the negative and then respond, “Yes you are right, but let us see it this way”. Imagine your mind like an errant child. When you fight against your child by trying to get it to do what you want, it rebells.  When you are kind and positive with your child, it will respond in a positive way. Think about your mind as a well loved child will help you to shift into positivity.

Four

Being negative is not a bad thing. It shows you what you need to look at in order to have the life you want. Self-judgement is the addiction which corrals the human spirit. Becoming aware of when you are in self-judgement is important to your spiritual and emotional evolution.

Five

Celebrate when you have done something good. When you have overcome the negative story it is necessary to shine the light of approval on your accomplishment. Just like a child needs emotional encouragement, so do adults. Most times we cannot get encouragement from others so it is important to be the parent to our own inner child and give ourselves the encouragement that we deserve.

This world is all about negativity. In order to feel good it is necessary for us to feel bad and vice versa. Although it is frustrating, this is the only way to understand the human experience. Appreciate the negative affirmations, because it will lead you to the positive.

Sonia Nadina Haynes is an intuitive, emotional healer. She uses her gift of insight to help you shift through to a life that fits your dreams. Check out her latest book on Amazon. Generate Happiness through Positive Affirmations.

Website: www.soniahaynes.com  – Email: contact@soniahaynes.com

Man-on-top-of-mountain-Concept

CHANGE YOUR MIND FOR WORLD PEACE

How comfortable do you feel about the future? Not your future but the future of mankind and life as we know it? Global events make us pause and experience fear at all the crazy things happening around us. It is uncertain what to expect of the coming months. It seems that Mother Nature is going about her job, doing what she needs to do to resolve the imbalances in nature. It is not very comfortable for us as she does this because it disrupts and affects our lives in tragic ways, but this is becoming life as we know it.

How do we emulate nature? What can we do to help? The human race as we know is a collective of energy, of emotion and thoughts otherwise known as consciousness. Everything we emit spirals out in to the universes and become manifest. What if our thoughts and emotions are spontaneously creating planets and solar systems? What if we end up with Orson Wells’ War Of The Worlds? Aliens landing on the planet with the intention of world domination? What if we are creating as we think, oceanic monsters and Hogwarts schools with a dark arts master bent on human control?

What if we could reverse what is happening on the global sphere? Getting rid of anger and fear and poverty? We have tried to use goodwill to change the negativity on the planet, but it doesn’t seem to be working, is it? What can we do to change the status quo? It is possible to make the world in our own view of what we want it to be.

If you figure out what you want. Not just what you need but also what you want. Imagine what you want as clearly as you can in your minds eye. Then look at how you feel when you envision your dream. The dream could be world peace, a new washing machine, or a new pet. Find the thing that make you happy. Keep focusing on it until you find yourself smiling. Imagine your smile and let the good feeling grow and expand out to fill the room you are in, touching everything and everyone in its reach. Push the energy outward as far as you can without losing the great feeling. If you begin to lose the feeling, stop. Generate the feeling again and then push it outwards repeating what you have done before.

The intention is to reframe the energy around us. We the human race have consistently created negativity through war, fear and limitation, for as long as we have been in existence. But there was a time when we were not in competition with ourselves. The time of self-competition is over. It is now time for cooperation with the male and female aspects of the self. This is not about physical gender. It is about energetic balance.

In order to change the world, to heal the world and allow love to flow, it is necessary to love ourselves and let this energy flow outwards until it fills your life fully. Whatever you thing you create.

Sonia Nadina Haynes – Intuitive, Healer and Workshop Facilitator, Canada