Category Archives: Existence

Header Meaning blog

Our Innocent Search Of Meaning

By the time we reach late teens, we have formed our belief system. Whom to believe and what we accept as important to our spiritual growth. People of many faiths spend more time searching for something to believe and most times come up short.

I met a self-proclaimed agnostic who was an atheist, before that he was a Zen Buddhist, and grew up a Christian. When I met the agnostic he was in his forties. This man was highly intelligent. He was genius, mathematician, scientist, musician, author, logistician and artist. I asked him how he arrived at the decision to embrace agnosticism. Unwilling to speak about his beliefs, but mellowed over a glass of wine he told me of the time in his childhood where he wanted something very badly. He prayed to God, but did not get what he wanted. It wasn’t anything as frivolous as a bike or a toy. He wanted to feel safe in his home and he wanted the piece of his heart that was stolen returned. He did not get what he wanted, nor was the hole in his heart repaired. His faith in the God of his mother slowly resolved. But he knew there was something out there. He knew that there had to be a foundation to his humanity, he just could not get the answer that satisfied his curiosity. Later on in his life after his first marriage failed, he decided emphatically that there cannot be a God because if this being existed, He would not allow his heart to break again. He believed in love and God and peace and joy. He knew that there was more to his existence. Being a genius he searched in science, mathematics and eventually metaphors to find his answers and without the resounding confirmation, he slowly lost faith until in a fit of anger he declared, “There is no God!”.

Within each of is the knowledge that there is more to us than we are able to see. We want to know that we are not alone. Our proclamation to the world is often times different from that which is in our minds. He eventually came to finally deciding that maybe God does exist, he just hadn’t found proof that he could use to satisfy the deep longing within, so he chose agnosticism. Later in his life just before his death, he declared, that he was happy to go, because as he said, he wanted to know which was right. He wanted to find what he was unable to see in life, he hoped he would find in death the answer to his question, “What form did God take?” Upon his death, many years after I met him, he walked fearlessly into the night. I observer his spirit get up from his corporeal self, he spoke to me, turned and walked out the hospital room to prove his theory.

We spend our entire lives being afraid of knowing and also in great need of knowing if God exists. We KNOW there is something out there, because how is it that miracles happen every moment of every day, spontaneously? Life, for one is the miracle that is indefinable. Disease is another. How is it that our bodies can break down when we do so much to keep it in good shape? How does the salmon and the eagles replenish themselves when it was driven to near extinction?

Our wondering means that we search for meaning. It means that we have a need to know. The answers to our question is as close as our own minds. This next stage in life is for us to start looking in a different place for the God we seek. Instead of looking to the sky, it is time for us to truly go within.

“To see a World in a Grain of Sand,
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand,
And Eternity in an hour.”
– William Blake, Auguries of Innocence.

Change The Programme For Success

The world is reflecting our unconscious belief system. Anger, rage, pain and despair are parts of our inner world which is spilled out into our environment. We’ve used the old ways of doing things and yet they have not been effective because most of us find ourselves struggling to find the foothold out of the pit of despair. Most of us especially the young stepping out into the world are feeling a bit discouraged with the status quo.

I like Albert Einstein’s statement probably said in frustration as he kept doing the same experiment and coming upMP900438811 with the same results, that the sign of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting different result. Eventually we have to shift something in the experiment to change the outcome. We humans have walked the same road, but we have found that this road is a circle. We keep finding ourselves right back where we started. There are many options but out of habit we find ourselves back on the same path doing the circle again.

How can we break away from the old outmoded ways of doing things to find our way to a future where we feel secure and safe? Life today is built on the rules and regulations of the Victorian and Industrial eras which are no longer effective in our technological world. Imagine that we were once physical beings using muscle and brawn to get by and shape our world in a tough terrain where only certain persons have power. Imagine that we have evolved into weightless beings and we are now in a stage where our vibration has elevated and we are charged with using our mental skills. If your body is not able to do strenuous work, and you continue to stress your body out, there will be a point of breaking and you will have to start from scratch, again.

If we don’t get the message then we will keep breaking as we follow the old way, until the pain gets too severe and we decide to change. Life is a scientific experiment. We are here to look at life through experiencing the various stages of being human.

Are you ready to change the programme?

You Have The It Factor. Do You Know Yours?

Queen Elizabeth recently turned ninety. When she was born, no-one expected her to become queen. Her father, fourth in line to the throne was emotionally and physically challenged. He was called the reluctant king. No one expected George VI to be king which put Princess Elizabeth further in the back of line to the throne. Because of this she may have enjoyed a much easier childhood than her son Prince Charles. He, seen next in line to inherit the throne as the future king of England and the commonwealth, had a more challenging, responsibility filled childhood.

This goes to show that any one of us can rise to something great, despite our beginnings. Sometimes having a less demanding life can be a blessing to your future accomplishments. From a past life perspective, in many lifetimes, I was born disadvantaged. I was born blind, physically challenged, deaf and mentally challenged. During those lifetimes, I observed the people around me to understand humanity. I saw the best and the worst that human beings could do to each other. This made me wise, amassing knowledge as I incarnated into each subsequent lifetime. This lifetime, I challenged myself to live the experiences I went through in the past. The question for me in this lifetime has been do I understand the human experience.

I firmly believe the children born  with or having developed mental, emotional or physical challenges are like aliens here on the planet, learning about and challenging our humanity. They are here to help us find our light through our treatment of them. Everyone is a potential genius. Everyone is a potential princess or queen. Take Grace Kelly for example. In our present history, is a story of a girl, the only surviver, a shipwrecked child from England washed up on the shores of an African country who married a prince. All things are possible. What are your possibilities?

In the readings I do for you, when I see your full potential, try not to run away in fear. All you have to do is show up to the dance. Princess Elizabeth showed up, made mistakes triumphed and she still stands the longest ruling monarch in Great Britain.

How about you?

 

Sonia Nadina Haynes Emotional Healer, Psychic/Intuitive Coach and author. She helps you to find your inner truth and create the life you want. Are you up for it? Or will you hide out from the greatest life you will every live? Email: contact@soniahaynes.com Website: www.soniahaynes.com

Easter 2016

Good Friday A Day For Sacrifice

I grew up with Good Friday. I cannot say that Good Friday for me was a day for celebration, because I was an impressionable child and I read a lot. My knowledge of the world came from books. I was brought up to believe that Good Friday was a day for sacrifice and the ultimate sacrifice was the man who carried his own cross to the hill of Calvary. The story filled me with dread because of the excessive violence and I saw the parallels to my own life. I could see why people saw the crucifixion story as a story of courage and perseverance. If one was suffering, it was good to see that a God suffered alongside us. That we are not alone. If the great and powerful God could go through such suffering for us then we can endure the little bit of pain we were experiencing.

While I understood the idea of Gods suffering for us. I did not buy into it. I asked, if god was so powerful, why was he so powerless in the face of the Romans? I got a scuff at the back of the head in response. They did not know, so they could not explain it to me.

We obediently followed the symbols, ceremoniously not lighting the fire until noon which was when Christ supposedly died. We were told it would burn his body and cause more pain. It was good for us kids as we got to drink soda, something we did not have very often. Cola Champagne, coco cola, and Ting, a grapefruit pop. We ate easter bun and  cheese from the yellow and red tin. We went to church. My imagination opened in frightful ways, imagining the man Jesus forced to drag the heavy cross after he had been tortured, along the dusty road struggling to stay upright, people yelling at him, the Romans beating and prodding him, the crown of thorns jammed onto this head hurting him as he struggled the dusty road up the hill to his eventual demise. It was like our grandmother sending us to cut the switch she would use to beat us. We had to carry the tool of our own punishment to the executioner.

I imagined Jesus laying down for the soldiers to hammer the large rusty nails into his hands and then his feet. I imagined the weight of his body pulling on the nails as the cross was being lifted, blood dripping baptizing the ones with the job of raising the cross. I imagined the extreme pain he would have experienced. While there on the cross Jesus forgave his torturers. I imagined, with extreme dread his mother and disciples standing helplessly trying to save their own lives, watched as his essence drained away in the blood dripping from his hands and feet. I imagined the people fearfully repenting their decision to send Jesus to the cross and them screaming for him to get off the cross. You have done all these miracles, you brought the dead from the grave, save yourself. Yes, I wondered why did Jesus not save himself, if he was so powerful. I had no answer. I imagined the earthquake when Jesus died and the sound of the curtains in the temple rending with a terrible sound that echoed around the area and the dead raising up to walk the street. I wonder if that is where zombies came from? My little mind was filled with questions and no answers. So I turned to observe the people around me. The ones who touted the story, justifying the glory of violence as the end to the means of making our lives better. I watched closely. I paid attention. But to no avail. I did not see the purpose to the violence that they sold.

I enjoyed the treats, though. I liked stories so I took in the storytelling. I eventually saw it as stories, because the people who were abusing us were not changed by the blood of christ nor did they seem to recognize the sacrifice that was made for them. Or at least I don’t think they seemed grateful enough to change their ways and become more giving and kind. I figured that Jesus failed in his mission, poor Sod.

Today, I see Good Friday as a symbol of our personal crucifixion. The pain we cause ourselves out of guilt and a sense of obligation to someone else’s expectation. People hooked on drugs and going through their own self-imposed crucifixion. People locked in mental and emotional disease have thrown themselves into their own moment on the cross.  Will they die? If they die, will the evidence that they existed be there, except for the knowledge of their existence to the people close to them?  Did Jesus die in vain? Are we continuing along the path to calvary, carrying our own cross to prove that we are worthy of life? It was already done. Jesus made the sacrifice. He needs us to live to find peace and forgive ourselves for what we feel we did wrong.

Good Friday to me is the end of the beginning. It is the completion of a cycle of pain and self-negation. Each day when we wake up in anger, in self-doubt, in self-hate, we deny the magic of our own inner child’s sacrifice for our own salvation. Find the way to create peace within your self and allow the healing to begin today, this Good Friday, a day of symbolic sacrifice.

 

Sonia Nadina Haynes, life coach and emotional healer. Her intention is to assist you to live your life well. www.soniahaynes.com

Blog image words hurt

Political Correctness makes Negative Behaviour

Have you ever tried to cut your own hair or trim a hedge in your garden? You have in your mind the exact shape and length you want the cut to be. You trim one side and then attack the opposite side to balance off the cut. When you look at your hair in the mirror, it seems unbalanced to you. Of course, we are our own critic. In an attempt to create the perfect cut, we see the slight imbalance in our haircut and attempt to fix it. We cut the other side trying to even out the cut and create a total mess. Soon we have cut our hair so short that we have to go to an expert to get it styled in a way that we did not want. The idea for this blog came through a conversation where several people shared their stories about ‘the hair cut’. One lady shared how her mom tried to cut her bangs and left a jagged mess before giving up trying to even out the mistake she had made.

We live in a world that exists in polar opposites. We have the North Pole and the South Pole. We have east and west and each is different, with its own climate, land mass and animals. This contrast makes our world an interesting and varied place. Only one part of the earth can be exposed to the light of the sun. The other, opposite side will always be in darkness, unless there are two suns shining at opposite sides of the world at the same time, and even then some part of the earth will be in partial darkness. This is the same for all of us. Even when we are in a room surrounded by light on all sides, the mass that we are, dark matter, will split the light and cause it to flow around us, thus defining and marking our existence.

For humans to understand the phenomenon called emotion, we need to experience the opposites – sadness, dependent on happiness to understand balance. In order for us to feel the righteousness of forgiveness, we need to experience a wrong and so on. The world and our own psyche are in a state of constant flux trying to create balance, like the pendulum that swings too far to the left and in its momentum back to balance, it swings too far to the right. This continues until the momentum is used up and the pendulum reaches a still point. In the world around us it seems that the political correctness that we embraced for the last couple of decades has swung back and the rudeness that we have kept under wraps is now uncovering itself. The political arena is a prime example. In the past, we fell into political correctness excising the words we innocently used to describe people and events in our environment. We avoided using statements and words to describe an event, a person or an activity that we’ve come to consider as hurtful. This quietened us for a while. But now the negativity is coming at us with a vengeance. We did not understood the emotional effects our words had on others and as we continue in ignorance, we are now feeling the pain that words can inflict.

For the person who spews toxic liquor in words, it is necessary to understood the  effects his behaviour and words have on the people around him. The antidote of issuing hurtful words and action is to realize that we are projecting our pain on to others because we are unable to hold it within. We cause hurt to the perceived weaker amongst us before they can inflict the pain to us. Only a hurt individual will willfully say things that cause hurt to others. Only a wounded individual will be hurt by the words spoken by another.

To become highly evolved beings, to achieve ascension, we need to be aware of our inner angst. In so doing, we will know what will make us react negatively and we can make corrections, creating balance.

Reflection in the mirror Blog

Look At Your Reflection In The Hall Of Mirrors And Find Balance

“You are the centre of your universe. Everything and everyone you encounter is a reflection of your unconscious belief system.” – Sonia Nadina Haynes

It has been said that the world is our mirror. The world as it presents itself to us, cannot be your mirror because you are kind and loving and a being of light.  How does this work with the mirror? When you were born, you knew yourself to be whole, perfect and divine.

Through challenging experiences, where you felt unheard and invalidated, you forgot this information and left the beautiful part of yourself behind. There is a brave little girl and boy, who is creative and fearless, who knows that he and she matters. He will assist your transformation if you stop long enough to hear what she has to say. Many people and especially powerful healers are hard put to connect with that innocent aspect of themselves. Because it requires diving into a pain that is so cutting, it seems impossible that it will end. Not going into the pain however, cause you to feel stuck.

You are left yearning to make a shift in your life and yet no matter how hard you try, the shift is unattainable. It is like in the commercial of the Coppertone child on the beach with the little black dog hanging on to her bikini bottom, our inner innocence holds us in place until we fearlessly allow it to emerge.

We are now in the time of the White Hall of Mirrors in Mayan prophesy. This is a time of reflection, when we face ourselves, becoming the watched and the watcher in our own lives. It is a time where we come in contact with our own inner truth hopefully without judgement. There is no good or bad in this state. It is we who think in such terms, and as we do so the world is reflecting this back to us. We are tossing thoughts out into the ether willy-nilly. I don’t like my hair. How am I going to make it through today? Why don’t I have any friends? Why am I still attracting this type of relationship? How am I going to pay the rent? These questions fill the spaces around us. Because they are questions, they require answers. Our world is constantly attempting to balance itself through presenting answers.

We cannot have the answers because we resist and forgot to look into the mirror. When we look at the reflection within our core we have the power to change the story around us. Pay close attention to the mirror. Be aware that if you do not like yourself, you will bump into people who will reflect this back at you. If you do not believe that what you have to say is important or valuable, you will meet individuals who will leave you feeling that you have no voice. These frustrating unconscious stories will show up in your body as diseases because your inner unconscious self wants you to find the truth, your truth. It needs you to know that you are important. It needs you to release the early childhood imprinting so that you can ascend into your divinity.

Sonia Nadina Haynes is a catalyst for change in the lives of all whom she meets. She is an Emotional Healing Therapist, Spiritual Teacher and Healer. She sees your past, present and future. She tells you what has brought you to this place in your life. What you need to do to resolve the present moment and what you need to do to positively impact your future.
Contact Sonia and heal your life today. contact@soniahaynes.com – 778-786-1301

Addictive Fear Blog header

The Addictive Thrill Of Fear, How to break away

I used to love roller coasters. My family and I lived in Brooklyn, New York. Every Sunday, we would go to Coney Island. My favourite thing to do was to ride the roller coasters. The thing that attracted me to the roller coasters was the excitement of terror as I careened down the steep, rickety, seemingly dangerous tracks. The cars would be full of excited individuals old and young, sitting in anticipation of the imagined danger that we were in from the violently shaky machine that threatened to fall apart and throw us to our death.

One day as the cars rattled along the track, I became aware of the energy that was running through the group as it anticipating the imagined danger to come. We had created an illusion upon which to ride. As the cars got to the top of the ride, I thought, “Why am I screaming?” “I wonder what would happen if I did not scream?” I disconnected from the network of fear. I experienced the roller coaster as an observer and found that the only thing that made the event exciting was the mass hysteria that I had allowed myself to be locked into. That day at seventeen years old I disconnected from the fear matrix and never saw the world the same again. The times that I get caught in the hysteria, I feel, are when I am supporting the people around who require me to be small, weak and insignificant. I can see clearly the role that I play in the human matrix.

We each of us have chosen a side in this battle towards self-realization. Some of us use religion as the source of our comfort and security, while others use spirituality. We are grossly divided in our opinions of what should be done to ‘fix’ the world. We view each other as evil or not “in the light”. We judge each other’s spiritual progress while convincing ourselves that we are not judgmental. We tell others that they are devoid of light, which is why they are ill or in emotional distress. It is easy for us to look out at others and see what is wrong in the other person, as opposed to tangibly looking within and see the false truths that we feed ourselves about our lives.

Our self-denial is being used by fear to segregate us. We are being dragged in a wave of destruction toward the cliff of our own demise by our self-denial. What do you fear more than anything? This is a question that must be answered if mankind is to separate itself from the path of annihilation. When you are told that you are too confrontational and in people’s faces with your message. You should ask, “What makes my message so confrontational?” What makes this information and these questions so frightening? Is it that we are afraid of being removed from the cocoon of denial?

The illusion exists. Human history shows the extent of the illusion; A country is given permission to invade another in the name of planetary security to destroy weapons of mass destruction. The invasion occurred and the weapons of mass destruction were not found or used. If these weapons were found, what would the invading country do? Would they turn them upon the planet because it knows that humanity will follow it to the ends of the earth? The world economy faltered and is still struggling to recover. Then came SARS and other health scares. Are these events truth or another illusion?

When will we focus within and see that this is all designed to separate us from our truth? As we are being distracted from our personal power, by fearful world events we cannot spend our time moving toward our light.
We become distracted. We are distracted. How do we get off the rollercoaster of hysteria?
The only way is to move into the fetal position of our own inner search. Try not to make being “Spiritual” a status symbol the way, in the past we made being “religious” a status symbol.

Humility is a clear and fresh experience. Humility requires nothing to cause it to be. It is. We humans use each other’s pain and distress as the template from which we judge our own self-realization. We need someone less than ourselves in order for us to feel important. We need to have others less evolved than ourselves or in pain in order for us to feel important. This is the thing that fear uses to keep control over us. The social media shows powerful evidence of such. Shaming others from the anonymity of a computer screen. Look within and see, how many of us need to see our spouses and families in weaker states than ourselves in order to feel important?

We are not here to help anyone to become enlightened, we are here to see if we can consciously disconnect ourselves from the matrix of fear and see the illusion, as it is, an illusion.

Let’s give it a try, shall we?

Sonia Nadina helps you get through the layers of false information you have amassed upon your psyche over your life. She uses her ability to see to assist you to heal using the energy of your guides and the spirit and souls of your loved ones. During your session, your loved one will show up and share information that is relevant to you and supportive of your journey.

Man-on-top-of-mountain-Concept

CHANGE YOUR MIND FOR WORLD PEACE

How comfortable do you feel about the future? Not your future but the future of mankind and life as we know it? Global events make us pause and experience fear at all the crazy things happening around us. It is uncertain what to expect of the coming months. It seems that Mother Nature is going about her job, doing what she needs to do to resolve the imbalances in nature. It is not very comfortable for us as she does this because it disrupts and affects our lives in tragic ways, but this is becoming life as we know it.

How do we emulate nature? What can we do to help? The human race as we know is a collective of energy, of emotion and thoughts otherwise known as consciousness. Everything we emit spirals out in to the universes and become manifest. What if our thoughts and emotions are spontaneously creating planets and solar systems? What if we end up with Orson Wells’ War Of The Worlds? Aliens landing on the planet with the intention of world domination? What if we are creating as we think, oceanic monsters and Hogwarts schools with a dark arts master bent on human control?

What if we could reverse what is happening on the global sphere? Getting rid of anger and fear and poverty? We have tried to use goodwill to change the negativity on the planet, but it doesn’t seem to be working, is it? What can we do to change the status quo? It is possible to make the world in our own view of what we want it to be.

If you figure out what you want. Not just what you need but also what you want. Imagine what you want as clearly as you can in your minds eye. Then look at how you feel when you envision your dream. The dream could be world peace, a new washing machine, or a new pet. Find the thing that make you happy. Keep focusing on it until you find yourself smiling. Imagine your smile and let the good feeling grow and expand out to fill the room you are in, touching everything and everyone in its reach. Push the energy outward as far as you can without losing the great feeling. If you begin to lose the feeling, stop. Generate the feeling again and then push it outwards repeating what you have done before.

The intention is to reframe the energy around us. We the human race have consistently created negativity through war, fear and limitation, for as long as we have been in existence. But there was a time when we were not in competition with ourselves. The time of self-competition is over. It is now time for cooperation with the male and female aspects of the self. This is not about physical gender. It is about energetic balance.

In order to change the world, to heal the world and allow love to flow, it is necessary to love ourselves and let this energy flow outwards until it fills your life fully. Whatever you thing you create.

Sonia Nadina Haynes – Intuitive, Healer and Workshop Facilitator, Canada

Couple Holding Hands on a Railroad Track

What Does The Changes On The Planet Mean For You?

Is the planet dying and we are just waiting for that moment when the inevitable occurs? There is evidence that the life that we have known is really shifting. And these changes are being reflected on the planetary landscape. Recently, the biggest hurricane in the pacific ocean ever recorded, went over land and left very little damage or fatalities. It seems to me that there are multiple events occurring in different dimensions at the same time, that are overlapping and spilling into our world. Or maybe our behaviour is spilling over into the other dimensions.

Either way, there is a breach in time and space that is being broadened by our emotional states. The lack of care and disrespect we carry for ourselves is evident around us in violent acts against one another, for no reason. Put against innocent people.

Will we have to take drastic measures to save ourselves?

If so what will they be?

I teach about love of self and healing through love. In order to save the human race, it is necessary for us to find the way to love ourselves so that we can help the planet with a “pure mind and clean heart” mentality. Our minds will become pure when we release the fear that we are not good enough.

Magic is happening, it is necessary to clear our hearts so that we can include an acceptance of the magic within the universe into our own belief system. Painful wars occur when we do not believe or accept that we are each unique and special. Shaming of others occurs when we continue to blame and berate ourselves for our existence. We transfer our pain on to the person whom we identify as representing our weakness.

The time has come for this race called humans to let go of crazy illogical thoughts and embrace the idea of personal responsibility. We need to decide that we are now ready to accept our share of the abundance that is a part of the planet’s positive prosperity story. Do you deserve to have the best life ever? Are you willing to change your mind, let go of fear of having it all, in order to have it all?

Check your inner self and see. You are capable of having some the fifty percent of the world’s wealth that is held by the one percent, flow back into your and your loved one’s hands. All you have to do is Change Your Mind.

Sonia Nadina Haynes loves to support you in your healing. She is the author of several books available on Amazon and her website. As well as writing and healing, Sonia is a workshop facilitator and spiritual teacher. She works through the chakras, intuitive healing and shamanic studies to support your mental, physical and spiritual growth.

MP900438811

What Do We Leave, When We Run Away?

I’ve spent my whole life leaving. I’ve left people, places, things and even myself until nineteen-ninety two when I was diagnosed with a devastating disease that pulled me up short, causing me to stop and look back on the road I had traveled to that point.

Roads are always important to me. Roads take us from point A to point B. Roads are shaped by the feet of travellers walking leaving one place to another, beating down the grass under foot and shaping the stones to perfectly flat cobblestones for feet to navigate comfortably. You can tell the travellers on a road by looking at the ruts and wear. The purpose of roads shaped by humans using machines including the human machine is to make faster the journey from one place to another.

A memory I have, was of my birth. I saw myself running. I chose to leave the life I had only just been born into. I do not remember my mother’s discomfort at my birth, nor do I remember my own. But at my shining into the physical world, I felt her sorrow. I chose to leave. I had a disorder of the intestines that at one day old and two days old, I could not ingest the nourishment she fed me. The milk of life for my nurturing I rejected, my intestines strangled itself. Septic and dying the doctors decided to experiment. Surgery, the option to correct the disorder. I saw myself on the operating table. A rust coloured tape over my tiny belly. The doctors dug into the right side of my belly looking for the offending piece of intestine. They did not find it so they hacked down until they found it two inched lower. Above and below my belly button and to the right, I was butchered. Ignorantly, they did not think babies were capable of feeling. Or they thought the memory of the offence would be forgotten. What they were not aware of at the time was that the story, the offence was stamped upon the psyche of the child.

But I digress, I was telling you about the memory of my birth. I had an aunt whom I had never met, because she’d died two weeks before I emerged into the cold light of life. I am told that she bequeathed a pair of gold bangles to me which I have never seen. I’m not sure which side of the family she belongs, but in the vision of my birth, I saw myself as spirit running as fast as I could. My body on the operating table, my spirit, taking off. My aunt appeared to me.
“Where are you going little one?” she asked
“I don’t want to do it.” I replied.
“Why not? They need you.”
“But it is too hard,” I said. “I change my mind.”
“You cannot change your mind,” she said. “They need you. You have to go back. And besides, you can leave any time you want.”
I looked at her in total trust. Knowing at that moment I could escape at any time, I surrendered the panic to her and I returned to my ravaged body.

My parents moved quite regularly during my formative years. Then I was taken to live with my grandparents and found I could not physically leave, so I ran in my nightmares and my dreams.

Most of us spend our lives running from situations we find challenging. We may not use our legs, we will run in our minds, in our dreams through sleep walking, emotionally through depression or even physically through health disorders that depilate us.

When we run, we are leaving our own life. We leave our selves. We do this because we don’t feel that we can give our selves permission to live life on our terms. Think about it. If you want to live the life that suits you and you choose not to express your own truth, you are leaving your inner child behind. When you want to have a life that reflects all the positivity you need, then you can leave behind the old way of thinking that restricts your joy.

Take a chance on yourself and leave the comfortable, uncomfortable life behind for something nurturing. It is very worth it.