Reflection in the mirror Blog

The Dangers of Comparing Yourself With Others

 

The beauty of all existence
Rests within you
Heaven peers through your two eyes

Compare yourself to another
Watch how quickly the light dies

Thus heaven shows
The healer knows
Unconditional love has no opposites
That is true balance
– Anonymus
It seems that the majority of us constantly view ourselves through the eyes and actions of others. The only creatures, flora or fauna that compare itself with others are humans. We look at the beauty in a flower and wish we could be as beautiful. We look at our predecessors and try to be make ourselves better than they were. This behaviour negatively affects our lives.

What does it do to our psyche when we look to others as the template upon which we fashion ourselves? As children we look to our parents to provide the blueprint for our self-esteem. Comparing ourselves to others cause depression which can lead to negative lifestyles such as drug and alcohol abuse, mental illness and homelessness. When we carry low self-esteem born from comparing ourselves to others, we lose our equilibrium and this affects all aspects of or lives. Ironically, the person we put up on the pedestal may be feeling the same as we do. Most people spend their lives living up to unrealistic goals.

How you avoid the pitfalls of low self esteem? First, positive self-talk is as important as any information from a guru or emotional guide. Self-talk, means the conversation you have with yourself. Low self-esteem comes from negative self-talk.
You are unique. There is no one like you. Even if you try to make the outside of you resemble your heroes what you are inside, emotionally, spiritually and mentally are completely different. Your life story is unique to you. Even with siblings your emotional growth will be different based on where you are in the birth lineup. Your experience with friends will be different because your friends are also unique.

Take the time to formulate positive self-talk. Counter the negative self talk with “and”. For example, I am such a ditz. Improve that self talk with Yes and I am focused in other ways. So, “I am such a ditz. Yes, and I am make the best cupcakes I have ever tasted, and my friends tell me so.”
You are not fighting against or disagreeing with the negative self talk you are agreeing that that is what you think at that moment, and you are also showing your consciousness another more positive point of view.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *